Photoplayer Hater

Actors inevitably make friends with similar goals of being able to make acting a significant part of their lives. Actors may even have friends that they look like and feel compete directly with them. This may actually be true if all an actor does is audition for available parts, but no actor is truly the same in every aspect.

Whether or not you seem like competitors or are in completely different areas of acting, there will come a time when some actor friend reaches a level of success you wish you had and you find yourself partaking of the hater-aide. We all know success is a personal concept, but it's still difficult to reconcile another's reaching of their goals and your seeming doldrums.

Concentrate On Your Positives

This actor who is succeeding is not you and doesn't have what you have. You have things they could never have and this is your strength. In this I don't speak solely of your look, although that is important in the screen acting business. I also speak of organizational, producing, and creative resources. You aren't just a pretty face, even if you do have one. You have other things to offer that others don't and it might be that you aren't employing them as effectively as you should.

Consider The Unknowns

You really don't know the whole story, no matter how much of it you've been told. They may have gotten cast in something that will never actually get released, how fun can that be? They may have been picked up by a major agent that this actor paid to represent him or her. Agents don't ask for money, they get paid when you get paid; but maybe your actor friend doesn't know this and never mentioned it to you. Maybe he's gotten a meeting with a major television production studio. Not to be negative, but that really doesn't mean much in the scheme of things. Lots of actors get meetings and most of them don't come out with anything on the other end: they're called auditions.

Don't Assume Anything

There are things you don't know about this sudden success your friend speaks of. Don't fill in the gaps with the things that will make you more and more envious. It won't help for you to project on him and this single bump in his career all the things that you've been seeking for yourself. Nothing comes easy and nobody gets it all at once, or keeps it. Don't bum yourself out by filling in the unknowns with the best case scenario. At least remember that it might be other than what you think if you can't help but think this way. Always consider the other side of the coin. I'm saying don't look for the silver lining, but only this once.

Come To Terms With Luck

The truth is that there is a significant luck factor in the success of anything. The right place at the right time, being able to answer that call instead of it going to voicemail; these things often make the difference between winning and losing. The problem is not changing your luck or changing the nature of life to not depend on luck; it's about setting up as many chances to get lucky as you can get. Luck is preparedness plus opportunity, so always be prepared and find as many opportunities for chips to fall your way as you can.

Evaluate Approach Differences

No two actors approach career-building the same way. Some move immediately to Los Angeles and become socially active in the filmmaking community and make lots of friends fast. Some move to New York and get involved with theater people and find their niche that way. Not every actor can go to every audition another goes to and not every actor has the same goals in acting. So it's clear that since you don't do it the same way, you can't expect the same results. You are going about things differently. Not for the worse, just different. Life is long and there will be lots of time for success and failures. This is a long-distance run not a sprint.

It's Never That Good Or Bad

As famous as this actor may get from this break that fell his way, there will be lots of headaches that you never hear about that will compensate. Celebrity often comes with acting success and it isn't like living a perfect life. Would you want people outside of your house at all hours, stalking you as you drive to the grocery store and accosting your children when they are away from you for a few moments? Your face being on billboards across the country can bring all kinds of unwanted attention from people you don't want to speak to anymore. They may even want money, might even demand money. You're in a big production, you must be rich, right? Don't assume that everything is champagne and caviar for those that get some traction in their acting career.

People Lie

I know this hurts to hear but this person that has recently told you about some success that they had could be making it all up. Why would they do that, it's gotta be true, they have no incentive to lie? They actually have a strong incentive to lie: you envying them. When you tell somebody about your success they don't tell you about how they are pissed you made it, they say how lucky you are and how they knew you'd make it because you're so talented. So lying can get them compliments and flattery, that's a great reason to make things up.

Don't worry about what other people are doing. They aren't you. You need to concentrate on making opportunities for yourself. Don't spend your time lamenting things you didn't do, focus on what you can do in the future. Schadenfreude is fun, but it will never pay the bills.